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  • 給老婆的認錯檢討書精選

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    給老婆的認錯檢討書一

    親愛的女友大人:
     我在電腦面前冥思苦想了將近半個小時,喝了兩口白開水,去了趟衛生間拉了一坨翔(還在冥思苦想),又貼了一張面膜(依舊在冥思苦想),重新回到電腦前終于寫出了這份檢討書。
    由于到家太晚并且和小胖廝混,我深刻的認識到了自己的錯誤,充分認識到了自己可恥、自私、丑惡的心靈給您帶來的傷害,衷心的乞求您的原諒,希望您本著坦白從寬、抗拒從嚴的方針政策再給我一次改過自新、重新做人的機會,我一定會洗心革面,改邪歸正再次投入您和黨的懷抱。
    想到初,您懷著勇于奉獻,勇于犧牲,救民于水火之中的高尚情操,不嫌我丑,不嫌我矮,讓我擺脫了單身狗的行列,解凍了我冰封多年的心靈。然而我還是沒有深入領悟,大徹大悟,犯下了滔天大罪。為了彌補我的過錯,爭取到您的寬大處理,特作一下決定:
    1. 拒絕和小胖過分親密。必須主動、熱情、誠懇、真心的對你發自肺腑得說我愛你等,如有違反,讓你拔頭發10根外加捅肚子5下
    2. 保證以后你生氣的時候我不得以“不要生氣了、求你不要生氣了、拜托你不要生氣了”等此類語言魚目混珠,欺騙黨和人民。違者拔腿毛10根外加捅肚子10下and擰耳朵。
    此次錯誤做以上反省,希望盡快得到您的原諒。
     

                                                      檢討人:xxx

     

    給老婆的認錯檢討書二

    親愛的老婆大人:
    遵照您的旨意,我在衛生間面壁思過1小時零4分鐘,對我所犯下的種種罪行一一進行反省,期間偷偷抽了一支煙(打火點煙的時候故意咳嗽了一聲,以免摁打火機的聲音影響您老人家上網偷菜)。以下是我對自己罪行的剖析,敬請老婆大人查閱:
    1、 我不該在結婚前迷上釣魚,結果結婚到現在的4個月零10天里,沒有陪您老人家逛過一次街、看過一次電影,害您老人家每個周末都只得去找同事打麻將。
    2、 我不該每天下班回來,不去江邊釣魚就是上網釣魚,占據電腦害得您老人家都不能上網偷菜了。
    3、 我不該在上網釣魚時,你在邊上嘮嘮叨叨問我一些話時都以“嗯”、“啊”、“哦”等簡短的語句回答您的問題,以至于有一次您試穿第二天參加朋友婚宴的衣服時問我好不好看,我也“嗯”了一下,結果第二天婚宴的時候把人家新娘風頭給搶完了。
    4、 親愛的,那天你參加朋友婚宴前給我電話,我說不知道有沒有時間去,有可能要加班。其實那天趁你去參加婚宴,我是偷偷溜去釣魚了,在婚宴結束前我及時趕回家了,沒讓你發覺而已。
    5、 老婆,我不該在那天釣上一條大魚回來時,自告奮勇當廚子,結果害你在一旁當幫手時看著魚流哈喇子、聞著香味吸鼻子、上桌后吃進嘴里差點扔筷子……其實要是由你來整那條魚,我估計我會連筷子都吃進肚子。
    6、 親愛的,我不該在你嚷嚷著要和我一起去釣魚的時候阻止你去,編了一大堆諸如路爛泥濘啦、野外河邊有蛇有蟲子啦、太陽會把你嬌嫩的皮膚曬傷曬黑啦等等理由,其實我是怕你去了之后在我的窩子亂扔東西,搞得我沒得釣了!因為你曾有一次送飯去給我的時候,居然突發奇想從菜里邊挑了幾粒酸豆角掛在鉤上釣魚的壯舉,雖然是什么都沒釣上,卻還振振有詞的說:酸豆角這么好吃,魚怎么可能不愛吃呢……親愛的我錯了,魚是愛吃酸豆角的。
    7、 ……
    親愛的老婆,在以后的二人世界里,我要時時處處以家為重點、以你為核心,團結在英明的領導周圍,在XX主義的康莊大道上,奮勇前進,為創建和諧家庭努力造人,控制釣魚時間,爭取多陪伴老婆。最好是您也一起加入到釣魚隊伍中來,根據“實踐是檢驗真理的唯一標準”,你就會知道魚愛不愛吃酸豆角了。

     

     

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